A Father’s Wish

As I watched my son standing at the altar waiting to see his future bride walk down the aisle, my brain was flooded with memories, hopes and dreams.

The special occasion reminded me how fast time can speed by us. It seemed like only yesterday that Evan’s biggest dilemma was convincing me to get him a Steve Young jersey and more Thomas the Tank Engine tracks. In the blink of an eye, my oldest son has a career, a house, a beautiful bride, and a life of his own.

Watching him up there so happy and full of love reminded me of all the possibilities of life. I remembered when I was standing on my own altar with my life all in front of me. It was going to be different for me than it was for my parents, I thought. I won’t make their mistakes.

And it was different for a while, until it wasn’t.

I can’t speak for all fathers, yet my goal for my children was simple, but fraught with challenges and many eventual mistakes: I wanted to give them a better life than I had. Sometimes in our zeal to help our children, we try to shield them from all of the pain and disappointment, while giving them more things, more activities, and more expectations.

Of course, as much as we try, we can’t protect our children from the bumps that happen in life. In the long run, it’s probably good that we can’t. I’ve come to believe that some of our biggest challenges end up creating a pathway or sense of purpose. I’ve seen it up close with Evan. I’m so proud of how he’s redirected some of his pain into helping others.

I’ve been lucky. I was fortunate to have a son like Evan who overlooked my shortcomings, listened when I had something to offer and was not afraid to be his own man. Sometimes we learn what NOT to do from our parents.

Evan’s wife to be, Beth, walks down the aisle and both of their faces light up. In that moment, you can see how the rest of the world stops when their eyes lock. As I watch them communicate without make a sound, I would give everything that I own in the hope for them to get a fair chance to build a family and a life.

I think they can do it, but it’s not up to me. All I can do is love them both and help them find their way. The rest is up to them.  I hope they can learn from my mistakes, and when they misstep, channel them into something useful and loving.

Dear Lord:

Please help us to forgive ourselves and trust that our loved ones can stand on their own feet. Please give us grace as we reconcile the changes ahead while providing loved ones the support they need.   Amen

Josh is a grateful member of Peace Church who loves the Sooners, Springsteen and his family.