Devotion
At the beginning of this year, I was challenged to set goals guided by Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul. I read the book and completed every single exercise. By the end, I had claimed five core desired feelings, one for each of the following categories: livelihood & lifestyle, body & wellness, creativity & learning, relationships & society, and essence & spirituality.
For relationships & society, my core desired feeling was “devotion”. Devotion is more than love; it is unwavering loyalty. I have spent the year asking myself, in myriad relationships and situations, what would devotion look like right now? This practice of being guided by a core desired feeling has allowed my heart and my actions to remain in alignment.
I’ve learned when you set an intention and ask God to help you to be better, life will absolutely bring you opportunities to practice being better. It’s so easy to practice devotion when I have more than enough resources to share, when I am calm and happy and fully rested, when I am feeling physically well. But what about when devotion means significant sacrifice, when I am overwhelmed and heart-broken and exhausted, when just completing the daily activities of living is a painful challenge? This practice is not for the faint of heart.
I’ve also learned that practicing devotion in relationships must include the relationship I have with myself. Living with unwavering loyalty to one’s self is not an easy practice for those of us who have been reared, socialized, and reinforced for the self-less-ness once called co-dependency, renamed Self-Love Deficit Disorder by psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg. And yet, with enough support, which in my case has included intensive trauma therapy, a sacred group of fierce and loving women who regularly hold me accountable, and my own relentless, daily practices of self-care, I’ve found that practicing devotion to myself is more and more attainable.
Holy One, help us practice healthy devotion toward one another and toward our own battered selves, even when it’s most difficult. Amen.
Roxanne has been a member of Peace church since 2020. She dreams of an equitable world where trauma is rare, relationships are safe, and all beings can thrive.