Never One Thing

It’s a strange time of year. The world is frozen in winter. The world is also awakening towards spring. The days can be cold, yet the daylight grows brighter.

It’s a strange time of life. I feel a deep dissatisfaction as there is so much more to do, be, experience. I also feel a deep satisfaction from the life I’ve lived so far. I am in pain, tempted towards despair, yet I am likewise profoundly grateful and buoyant with joy.

It’s a strange time in our nation. We see shockingly cruel behaviors. We see stunning acts of love. We are heartbroken, exhausted, yet we are never giving up.

May Erlewine’s lyrics go round and round in my mind:

I am hope, I am defeat

I am broken, I am complete

I am the grace, I am the fall

Never one thing, no, not one thing at all

I'm the underbelly, I am the claw

Never one thing, no, not one thing at all

I'm a street fighter, I'm a prayer for peace

I'm a holy roller, I'm a honey bee

I’m lucky to be married to a man who embraces the “both/and” – of me, of life. At home in mystery, he’s a good companion during strange times. Maybe it’s all the years he spent in the face of death as a hospice chaplain, liminal space woven through with both the sacred and the profane.

When you think about it, pretty much everything is both/and. We cannot change that. Our choice is how we live with duality, how we cultivate inner peace and use our fierce anger in the fight for justice, liberation, equity, inclusion, the good of all beings.

I don’t think we can do that alone. We need not just self-care; we need community care. How blessed we are to be Peace Church as we navigate these strange times.

Immanent and transcendent One, thank you for holding us together in strange times. Grant us serenity, courage, and wisdom for the living of these days. Amen.

Roxanne is a member of Peace Church most often present on the “Zoom stained glass window”. She is grateful for times she can gather in person with friends, like small group dinners and chorus rehearsals.