It Takes a Village
Recently I heard a story from Jack Kornfield’s book The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace. An internationally renowned Buddhist teacher, Kornfield tells a story about a particular ritual of the Babemba tribe in South Africa. If an individual within the tribe does something irresponsible or unjust, everything in the village stops. The guilty party is placed in the center of the village, and the entire tribe, every man, woman and child, gathers around them in a large circle. And it begins…
One by one, each villager takes turns. Talking. Telling the guilty party all the reasons… they love them. All the good things, not that they have done for the trouble maker, but that the trouble maker has ever done for them. Their fondest memories of them, the special moments they have had together. “All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully, and at length.”
They talk for as long as it takes. This ritual sometimes lasts as long as two days. The time it takes to bring that person literally and figuratively back to center. When they are done, they break the circle, and celebrate with a feast, and welcome that individual back into the tribe.
I don’t know why this story caught me so off guard. Why It went somewhere I had never expected. It is so fundamentally different than the way our society rolls today, when brimming with self-righteous anger and rage seems to be in style for a good portion of our population.
Loving your enemies. Turning the other cheek. It was a radical idea in Biblical times, and when you hear about it truly in action, it still is. It is both shocking, and wonderful – and my hunch is – effective. Effective at telling the troublemaker who they really are. What everyone really thinks of them. Reminding them that they are better than that, and I’m sure, shaping the opinion of every person there, assuring all that one’s good deeds outnumber their bad deeds, no matter how low that low point was.
It is pure Grace in action. And a story I hope to remember, next time I start feeling like someone might need a talking-to. It might be, that they actually do.
Thank you, God, for the moments of Grace I know I have been given in this life, and for the reminder that I can grant these moments so easily to others.
Diana is a founding member of Peace Church, a dog walker and gardener, who is anxiously awaiting the Grace of warmer Spring days outside.