In Your Hands

My life is in your hands.

It wasn’t just the words. Patients have said that before. It was the way she said it. Looked me right in the eye in pre-op at St Luke’s Hospital, bay seven. She was surrounded by family members, two of which were holding her hand. Even for a woman in her 70’s, she wasn’t the healthiest. Missing most of both her legs, diabetic, a multitude of other problems, but it was her anemia that worried me the most. She was a Jehovah's Witness which meant she would not accept a blood transfusion. It was unlikely she would bleed enough to need one, but in this type of kidney surgery, it was certainly possible.

So when she said those words, I paused for a beat then tried to deflect-

Well, not just MY hands. We’re a team. Anesthesia, the nursing staff…

No, YOUR hands. You’re the captain of the ship.

I knew then that the best option was to simply reassure her. Everyone in the room today is very experienced and careful and I will do my very best for you.

The exchange rattled me. But in the end she did fine - as did my six other surgical patients that day.

I make decisions every day that impact lives, but maybe my mind downplays the stress by involving the patients in the decision. And their other caregivers. And their families and friends. And their accumulated health problems and lifestyle choices. And God and other factors that are unknown and out of anyone’s control.

Our lives are in God’s hands- but they are our responsibility.

Life is a strange mysterious gift. It arrived without request and it will likely leave the same way.

Holy One, our lives are in your hands. Help us to care for them with gravity and joy. Anen

Brandon is grateful for all the gifts he has been given. Grace without measure.