Our Weekly Devotionals are created by our staff and members to inspire reflections and conversation.
Emotions are Our Friends
We dropped Caleb off at the University of Central Missouri yesterday morning. After getting him settled, we left and came home. He has started a new chapter of his life. It was the reverse of when they handed us baby Elizabeth and told us to take her home from the hospital on the most dreary of February days. I didn’t feel ready to be a parent, and yesterday, with the warm sun shining on us, I didn’t feel ready to end my active parenting responsibilities.
The Little Things
I had a minor mishap this spring. One moment I was fine, and the next I was trying to decide if I should go to urgent care. I’d put a small basket of dog toys in my hall a few months before, and immediately thought “Wow, that’s a real hazard…” and then left it sitting right there, certain that it would not be a problem. Until my bare foot caught on it and suddenly, my foot began to swell and turn colors.
Does AI know who we are?
I asked ChatGPT if it knew its creators. It said, no, that it did not have any knowledge of its creators or any awareness of the world beyond the data it was trained on. It further explained that it lacked general intelligence and self-awareness, and therefore, does not "know" its creator in the same way that a human being might know and recognize its creators.
The Summer of Great Endeavors
In recent years I’ve looked forward to summer for the chance to enjoy the nature that surrounds me here in Kansas City and spend more time walking around the neighborhood, going to the Zoo, and maybe taking a road trip somewhere I wouldn’t normally go. This summer, with all that intended, I instead found myself by a particular series of circumstances working hard on several large projects at once.
Stillness
Lately I have felt my body and mind relax. I have felt anxiety leave my fingers and toes and lips. I’m able to sit quietly. To read and to watch TV. I’m able to think better at work. Is it a stillness that comes from within? Spirit of God?
Maybe it’s a little of everything. And I don't take it for granted. I wake up each morning, grateful for another day. Grateful for strength and clarity. Fully aware that it could all leave in an instant.
Mountaintops and Wildflowers
I’m just back in my flatland home after a week in the mountains, same range, different peaks. Like many people, we have an almost spiritual need to get to the Rockies at least once a year. Sometimes the goal is simply to be surrounded by evergreens and Ponderosa pines (that’s what the tattoo on my left ankle is about), to see a blue sky from the top of the world, and put our feet in a clear mountain stream.
Red, White, and Blues
I have a confession to make: I am not a fan of Independence Day. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fireworks display and picnic as much as the next person. And of course, I admire the Founders and the risks they took in blazing a new trail in this experiment we call America. Our country, despite whoever is in charge at the time, truly stands as a beacon of freedom and liberty.
“Those Eyes”
Over the past two and a half months life has shifted in a powerful, life altering way for me and the rest of our tribe with the arrival of Ava Kate. It’s difficult to put into words the increased depth of meaning and connection I have felt with the advent of the “Pops” portion of my life. I am privileged in so many ways and deeply blessed to a degree far more than I can possibly deserve, now or ever.
Moments of Joy
It was an “easy run,” the kind where I run as slow as necessary to keep my heartrate down. I ignored the pain that started gradually in my right foot midway through the run. It was only later that evening that the pain became sharp and demanded my attention. Over the next few days, I agonized about whether or how to keep training for the race I’d sign up for at the end of June.
Ring Theory
On January 21, 2013, Caleb had his first seizure. He was 8 years old. We had friends over for dinner and heard a loud crash. He was on the bathroom floor seizing. We called 911 and rode in an ambulance to Children's Mercy and was told by the ER doctor that Caleb probably fell, hit his head and this would never happen again. He said seizures happen to kids all the time and we shouldn’t worry.
Thank You
This is the last column that I will write for Peace Church. Next month, I will be moving to the Dallas-Fort Worth area to live near my son and daughter-in-law. In my nearly eight years in the Kansas City area, I have experienced some exhilarating highs and devastating lows.
In Your Hands
My life is in your hands.
It wasn’t just the words. Patients have said that before. It was the way she said it. Looked me right in the eye in pre-op at St Luke’s Hospital, bay seven. She was surrounded by family members, two of which were holding her hand. Even for a woman in her 70’s, she wasn’t the healthiest. Missing most of both her legs, diabetic, a multitude of other problems, but it was her anemia that worried me the most.
Spring in the Garden
I’m a gardener. My mother was a gardener. Her mother was a gardener. Her father was a professional groundskeeper, in other words, a gardener. I guess the gene didn’t kick in for me until sometime in adulthood. I don’t really remember being that interested in it when I was growing up. I was mostly just mystified by my mother’s obsession with planting and arranging and the sprigs of fresh flowers that always had to be on our dinner table.
World Without End
In the last several months, my liberal arts brain has been getting more exposure to science and math. The neural highways that are usually filled with literature and history have taken some fun side trips to thoughts of gravity, matter, black holes and infinity.
The Faith of a Child
I recently had dinner with one of the Denver Jesuits who asked me directly about my faith, what do I believe? I gave my usual answer, that I have a hard time balancing belief with my resolve that I should really only accept all the things I can perceive rationally. How can we know, really understand, things that are so profound that they defy the very human capacity for knowledge?
Curious
Here’s how I am - I begin reading a book and soon want to talk about it to everyone that I come in contact with. Vasectomy patients, Kari, any of the six kids who happen to be trapped in the kitchen with me, co-workers, sisters…anyone.
That Will Be Me
AIt is never too late to be who you might have been. George Eliot
Gosh, I hope that’s true. It’s a rich sentiment from a woman who became a revered novelist, using a male pen name. And not because she liked the sound of George better than her given name of Mary Ann. It was the England of the mid-19th century, and she wouldn’t have been taken seriously as a “woman writer.” She didn’t sit in an attic room, watching the world go by while she wrote about the lives of other people.
Ordinary
Another mass shooting in America. Was it a school this time? A bank? A grocery store? A funeral home? Does it matter?
How often do the words “mass shooting” appear on the news banner of the 6:00 news? How often do we hear those words spoken by the exasperated news anchor? Do we wince when we hear it? Do we shudder when we see it? Do we lash out when we read about it? Do we pray? Do we call our representatives again and yell into their voicemail inboxes? Do we become numb, sigh heavily, and turn away? Do we have to sit down and hold our head in our hands?
Life Finds A Way
Life finds a way…. In the spring weeds that miraculously break through the cracks and crevices of our driveways; in newborn creatures of all shapes and sizes who instinctively grasp on to and grow into this new world they’ve entered; in those of any age fighting illness & disease who with the help of the science of medicine and dedicated health care workers unexpectedly find healing…life finds a way. In this season of the year, we focus on the power and hope of new life, rebirth, and the joy and warmth the sun gives after cold dark winter days.
Lessons Learned
When I started my graduate program, I had a vision for my career: get my degree, publish research papers, become recognized in my field. Along the way, I did the clinical training required for my degree, but I remained convinced that I wanted a research career. It not only seemed interesting, but more prestigious and respected.